Sacred Scribe Blog
January 2012
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Posted on January-23-12 10:47 PM
Beauty shows itself in many ways, and if we allow it to, all of life can become an act of grace and exquisite beauty.
For the past few days I've been noticing that I'm experiencing chest pains...the kind that you just know have something to do with the heart.
I keep asking my heart, what is it...what is it...what is it?
It's as though my heart is ready to expand beyond it's borders..
As though it is telling me this is what it wants to do, and somehow I'm just not getting it.
But deep, down inside, I do get it.
And what I get is that there is fear here.
I don't know why this has felt so intense these past few days, but I have felt like I could actually expire from the dark depression that has engulfed me and weighed so heavily on my heart.
I know some of this has been triggered by a relationship that I am in, and what it is clearly revealing to me is that I'm not in it to be happy, but to become conscious.
That's what I asked for...what I recently pledged allegiance to.
Boy, is it working...
This is all about embodying the kind of love where one would no longer have a care in the world if someone loved them or not.
This is about Being Love. Period.
The heaviness has lifted now as I write this thanks to the miracle of radical acceptance of what is, but it felt like my guts were being ripped out, and yet when I took a closer look at what actually spilled out onto the floor...all I saw was grace.
Beauty can be found even in some of our darkest growing moments, especially when those moments reveal to us our utter vulnerability and human frailties..the absolute rawness of the human heart..
These are the kind of moments that make us real.
And the still small voice said...
"This ache is none other than the grace of awareness. It is the awareness of the fear that your heart is ready to permanently move you beyond your ego mind. You have reached the doorway of "the point of no return." It is here where all illusion intensifies, right before it dissolves into pure Awareness. The ego has no home in Awareness...no life...no existence, and that is beyond intolerable and impossible for it to comprehend. You are feeling like you are losing your mind, that you must hold on, that you are dying. In truth, it is a death, a final letting go of that which you identified as you. You are being asked to trust...and to transcend...not out of your body or this world, but into both of them...fully...completely...and entirely embodied as Love.."
© Copyright 2012 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved
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Posted on January-17-12 3:34 PM
One of my favorite poets is the great Sufi master from Persia, Hafiz, who lived and wrote during the 1300's. He writes so intoxicatingly about the magic and beauty of the Divine that pulsates in and around everything, and about celebrating and treasuring the seemingly ordinary, simple moments of our lives.
In this short poem, Laughing At The Word Two, he shares so clearly the hilarity of separation and how Love has no opposite.
Only The Illumined One Who keeps seducing the formless into form Had the charm to win my heart. Only a Perfect One Who is always laughing at the word Two Can make you know of Love.
Now, some 700 years or so later, the truth and wisdom of this poem (all his poems) are revealing themselves in a big way.
That's the thing about truth...about consciousness...about Love.
It stands the test of the seeming passage of time.
It is eternal.
It is One.
Yesterday, as I was hiking in the woods, I felt moved to pledge an allegiance with the formless...with the vastness...with the One...with Love.
I stated from the deepest place of my Being that I vowed to spend the rest of my life in devotion and worship to unconditional love, compassion, kindness, beauty, harmony, peace, humility and gentleness, and that I would do that in the very arena of my own, simple life with all it's quirky, challenging, beautiful relationships and situations.
I also stood in complete acceptance of however my life might have to change, grow, or evolve - more than it already has if need be - to honor this allegiance.
This is the nature of my walk in this world.
In short, my intention was to surrender whatever identification I was still making with "the-ego-judging-resentful-fearful-opinionated-self" (and trust me...there's still some there, which I admit and accept) and then bowed down and kissed the feet of the Beloved.
I prayed as I walked, that Spirit would forever remind me that Love has no opposite, and then act on it....always, for in truth, and as Hafiz always wrote about, everything is an expression of the Divine. This must be so, or nothing would have the capacity to exist otherwise.
And the still small voice said,
"You have spoken, and now also written, your personal pledge of allegiance. It has been heard. You are, in this now moment, living your life as a prayer, and in so doing are adding to the alleviation of worldly suffering. Love's state of grace is flooding your Being, and like a tidal wave, it crashes up against the shores of your inner skin. Here, it remains contained within the boundaries of your physical body. You give nothing away, except everything that resonates from this divine nourishment. Fed from within, you become the Beloved. May your walk in Beauty last as long as eternity."
© Copyright 2012 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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Posted on January-12-12 2:41 PM
As I sit here staring at the computer, watching the letters form words across the white screen, I am aware of the constant hum of the hard drive. Someone is nailing something into the wall in the next unit from mine, and I can hear the low drag of the elevator as it moves up and down in the distance, at the same time as the flute music is playing in the living room. The clock is ticking next to my bed, and the keys of the keyboard are clicking away as my fingers do their thing.
Along with all of this, my heart is beating, breath is moving in and out, blood is flowing throughout body, stomach is digesting the orange I just ate and telling me it wants something more, and the earth is spinning on its axis, while the fog I can see from my window is clearing, seemingly on its own.
I feel such deep peace at the way of it all.
Who is noticing all of this?
I AM.
Consciousness is.
The eye of I AM.
Not only is consciousness noticing all of this.....it is all of this. Now lets play a game! Wooohoooo....what fun!
Let me write this all over again from a place of ego mind or unconsciousness.
As I sit here staring at the computer, watching the letters form words across the glaring white screen that is almost blinding me, all I can hear is the annoying, constant hum of the hard drive. Someone is nailing something into the wall in the unit next to mine and I cannot concentrate one single bit. I can hear the loud thudding of the elevator as it moves up and down in the distance at the same time as the flute music plays in the living room and I am getting angrier by the minute with all these distractions! The clock is annoyingly ticking next to my bed, and the sound of the keys on the keyboard as I type is really pissing me off! Clickety...clickety...clickety...Can't these things be invented without making so much noise? How am I supposed to write?
Along with all of this distraction, I can hear my heart beating so loudly in my eardrums you'd think I was smack in the middle of a friggin' drumming circle, (no offense drummers! I love drumming...just a little comic relief) my breathing is making hostile hissing sounds through my nostrils, I just ate an orange and now my stomach is complaining that it wants something else to eat, and the fog I can see from my window is finally clearing up...it's about bloody time! At least now I can see something!
Consciousness.
Unconsciousness.
To be one with everything?
or
To have an opinion of everything.
You get the picture... This is the dance we are all learning to dance.
One choice brings calm, peace, love, stillness, clarity, beauty, acceptance, unity.
The other brings angst, impatience, anger, fear, judgment, distraction, confusion, separation.
Unconsciousness is the state of the world-mind most of us grew up with and adopted without question. It is the mind, and we learned to live in it...separated from Being...in ignorance.
Consciousness is the constant state of Being. It has always been there, and now we are waking up to the fact that we have a choice.
Unfortunately, making the choice to unlearn everything we were taught and flower into full consciousness can be a challenge while the external world of human unconsciousness keeps trying to suck us back in there, into the mind, into rigid mental concepts and beliefs.
We don't have a visual example to follow per say, only because we tend to see the world through the mind of judgment, opinion, labels, separation.
Once we surrender and turn within to the realm of Being...to the power of Being, which without surrender is completely blocked, we find home...stillness...peace...and the most beautiful, silent joy.
It is our sole responsibility to do this if we want to "be the change."
No more excuses. No more victim.
And how do we do this?
There is only one way.
Stay present. Be here now. Feel the moment. Be.
Teach yourself to drop out of the constant, incessant, nattering of the mind.
It's time to use the mind of God, of consciousness, that which we are - to form the pictures and feelings and intentions we desire regardless of what else is going on around us.
It's like having our own special secret that we're reverently holding safe inside.
One that says, "I am safe for I am Love."
Feel the energy of beauty, love, peace, calm, stillness, acceptance, and unity, rather than wishing for more money, better health, a loving partner, a faster car.
Feel your own consciousness and learn to "turn the other cheek" to everything else.
It's time to see the world with Being rather than Mind.
There is so much beauty to behold.
This is mastery.
This is the way.
This is our salvation.
© Copyright 2012 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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Posted on January-10-12 3:53 PM
My daughter went back to school yesterday after a two-week Christmas break. I could tell she had some stress around going back. Afterall, life in Grade 8 can be a little daunting, especially if you're sensitive and empathic.
As our car approached the front door of the school, she sighed a huge sigh and said, "Oh no. Not school. It's so amateur."
This statement did not come from a place of superiority or academic intelligence. It was not a "holier than thou" expression. I believe it was her inner wisdom's utterly honest feeling about what it truly feels like to be here in the 3D world experience of mainstream, public middle school.
I lovingly let her know that she was not too far off the mark with her statement, to try and be patient with everything as it is, and I drove away wishing with all my heart that I could provide her with the kind of experience her Soul is so longing for.
I wonder how many other kids and teenagers are feeling the total futility and uselessness of playing the tiresome and ridiculous game of life in 3D school?
When I began to reflect on the contrast she must have been feeling between what the Christmas break at home felt like, and then what being at school feels like, I realized the vast chasm she has to forge in order to fit in.
Our day to day life at home is filled with the vibrations of God, Spirit, Love, Beauty, Grace, Harmony, Benevolence, Devotion, Reverence, Joy, Light, Destiny, Unity, Wisdom, Truth, Creativity, Compassion, Courage, Clarity, Tranquility, Peace, and Presence. We also spend a lot of time outside in nature.
All of this is so, because it is our intention to create and surround ourselves with this kind of environment, and at home, or in nature, it is fairly easy to do so.
Step outside of that into anything mainstream, and look out! If these vibrations are not firmly and solidly anchored and rooted inside your Heart and Being then its so easy to get pulled along with the masses, especially for most teenagers who want so desperately to fit in and belong, and I know my daughter will not do that if it means having to sacrifice her Soul...and so...there is much resistance which causes her stress...which makes me pray, that the harmonious, thriving, world I know so many of us are creating through our intention of vibration, would just arrive a little sooner, so that all of life in this world that we live in would honor the spirit and soul of every living Being, especially those of our children.
I am one person, who is also a mother, who wants nothing more than to live a dignified, beautiful life in service to the Divine within every Being, and to teach that to my daughter by example.
Ernest Holmes says, "One person, alone in consciousness with the Infinite, constitutes a complete majority."
God, I pray that's true.
And the still, small, voice said,
"It is a paradox is it not, that as you learn to expand in your consciousness, the world in which you were taught about unconsciousness remains the arena of your greatest teaching. Both you and your daughter are at differing levels of expanding consciousness, and yet by her choosing...of you as her mother, her deeper self knows the wisdom of the life experiences she is currently having, and while she may be feeling the frustration and impatience of her dance with duality, it is your loving presence in her physical reality that offers her the guidance and safety to mature, grow, and expand into all that she came here to be. In truth, her dance with duality will not require a lengthy time frame as she sees with much clarity the 3D illusion and has not bought into it. Trust that soon both her overall experience and yours will take on a more balanced, joyful, unified vibration of harmony. Remember to stay present,..accept what is...laugh...and breathe. There is a higher wisdom unfolding here."
© Copyright 2012 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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Posted on January-05-12 1:06 PM
I know I write about Beauty a lot. I can't seem to help it. I never really know what I'm going to write about when I sit down to write on this blog, and yet Beauty, in some way, shape, or form, always slips itself in there and makes itself known.
I think it's because I've come to learn that no matter what ridiculous gyrations my mind/ego may be attempting to go through in an effort to make itself feel better, it is always in a single moment of surrender, that the feeling of Beauty instantly pours in and stills everything, filling my heart with the silent peace of God.
I don't have to physically see something beautiful, or touch something beautiful, or hear something beautiful. I don't have to be looking at a glorious piece of art, or walking through a field of wildflowers, or making love, to experience the feeling of Beauty.
I just need to surrender...let go...fall...
That's not to say that all of these physically beautiful experiences don't help us to remember how magnificent the feeling of Beauty is....they are just not necessary if say, you are right in the middle of a truly adverse life situation, one that in truth, could not be otherwise.
Usually the last thing most of us will do when feeling threatened with adversity is allow ourselves to surrender into Beauty, or accept the fact that everything is happening exactly as its supposed to for our benefit and evolution, including all of our negative feelings about it.
Why?
Because the threatened ego is addicted to one thing, and one thing only.
S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G.....
And a surrendered mind, even if it's only for a moment, cannot suffer...not in that moment...not when it's feeling Beauty.
I love the quote by Eckhart Tolle that says, "suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary."
When we can truly let go to the moment - especially those that we label as adverse, ugly, or frightening - then we are no longer two.
We are no longer divided.
We are no longer split.
We are no longer experiencing duality.
We are P-R-E-S-E-N-T.
And in this Presence, the wisdom of all of life becomes available to us.
And the still, small voice said,
"There is available to you an energy so vast, so profoundly beautiful, so entirely unaffected by the dramas your ego mind clings to for such dear life. It is invisible and unavailable to you to the degree that you do not acknowledge its existence as You...the highest aspect of You...You as the Divine. The more you choose to let go to this truth, the more of this Divine You-ness will flow into your life. There is nothing it cannot hold in its beauty and love. Nothing is too big, or too painful, or too ugly for it to embrace, but you must surrender to it, give your self over to it, dissolve into it, so that it may blend and become one with you. The healing balm you so long for to bring ease to your woes is already with you...as You. Let it in...let it in...let it in..."
© Copyright 2012 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved
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