Sacred Scribe Blog
December 2011
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Posted on December-29-11 4:29 PM
It's a snowy afternoon here in South-western Ontario, Canada. The first real snow we've had all year showed up the other day. Only a couple of inches, but enough to stay on the ground to create that soft, peaceful feeling that sort of cushions and magnifies all the wondrous sounds of the Universe.
Another expected two inches is just beginning to fall, and I can't help but fall with it...fall in love that is.
I give thanks for it's divine beauty, the genius master of mystery, that knew each flake just had to be created with breathtakingly original, one-of-a-kind exquisiteness.
Much like all of us really.
If only we could all see that about each other.
We were all born from the very same master of mystery. We all contain the same divine beauty. Each of us created with the same breathtakingly original, one-of-a-kind exquisiteness.
Perhaps I'm reflecting on this because tomorrow is my birthday. Perhaps because at this birthday, marking my forty-ninth year on this planet, I'm feeling that way about myself...that I am a divine, beautiful, breathtakingly original, one-of-a-kind piece of exquisiteness!
No small feat to accomplish...at least for me.
And maybe that is why I've been struggling of late, over Christmas, with loved ones who have been caught in the web of illusion, who are suffering needlessly, experiencing grief and loss over relationships that have simply and quite naturally come to an end for their benefit.
My struggle has been to maintain the sacredness of my centre, to not allow myself to be dragged, by those I love so dearly, through their emotional train wrecks.
I don't do that anymore.
Or at least that's been my intention.
I'm obviously not quite there yet, or else I wouldn't have struggled at all.
I have not quite reached mastery in that department.
I've been finding it a challenge to stand up and declare that "I am a sacred beautiful being!" without feeling insensitive and harsh to those who are moving through some narcisstic, toxic, illusional suffering, (not illusional to them to be sure.)
Whenever I find myself entangled in these frightful, emotional situations, I always know I need to remove myself as far as possible energetically, until I can gain back my sense of groundedness.
From that centred place within, I can then look at what it is within me that is still needing some loving attention...that which is still very much "triggerable."
I guess for me it is partly judgment, partly impatience, partly lack of compassion.
I am human after all, having a very human experience, but one that is rapidly moving out of the 3D human consciousness, if not already out of it, except for the moments when I allow myself to be pulled back in.
Or maybe I simply haven't yet fully grasped what Gandhi meant when he said, "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." To that I would also include "heart."
And the still, small voice said,
"You are correct in pulling within and finding your centre once again. This is the dance of the eternal Tao. You do not bring harm or speak harsh words, but simply retreat. Allow the dance of wisdom, the energies of dignity and trust to bring balance to the situation. There is no harm done in loving from a distance. This is the higher road, a road void of ego and holier than thou righteous indignation. You are being lead. Trust your wisdom. Remain open to the Love that you are. You are indeed a beautiful, sacred being, and so is everyone else! Simply allow your dignified behavior to dictate how you wish to be in relationship with others. Some will stay. Some will go. So be it. Your inner wisdom will never let you down."
© Copyright 2011 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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Posted on December-19-11 11:54 AM
As this year draws to an end, I wish to utter to the Divine the only two words that come to mind when one is attempting to express the inexpressible.
 "Thank You."
As I write this, the sun is breaking through the clouds casting streams of golden light across grass that is still surprisingly emerald green and trees that are naked and dancing in the wind. A flock of geese fly by at eye level, (I live on the 12th floor) and yesterday I sat in child like wonder as I watched a red-tail hawk circle infront of my window delivering his sacred message of effortless joy.
I marvel at the fact that I get to witness and partake of this majesty called Life, that I notice Life, and am always humbled by it these days.
I have made the intention already to walk in the opposite direction of the fearful masses where 2012 is concerned, and have anchored in the desire to experience 2012 as the year of Joy, for it is none other than a choice.
Having set this intention already, I have begun to feel it's effect, for beyond all fear, without exception, Joy awaits.
How do I know this?
Because for me, this past year was an intensification of fear on so many levels, and what it has taught me, is that the only way to banish fear is to love and embrace it.
In this intensified process of learning how to do this, the welling up of long forgotten buried Joy, is what has so naturally begun to fill me up.
And the still, small voice said,
"You will not have noticed any dramatic change on the outside. Not yet. But on the inside....ooooh...on the inside....dark and solid walls have disintegrated. The once immovable ego pride has collapsed and dissolved into Beauty...a beauty so stunning, so brilliant, so astonishingly radiant that it is an impossibility to hold it back. This has nothing to do with anything external, but everything to do with claiming that inner Divinity from which you first emerged, and unleashing it, full force, by letting your Light shine...by letting go of all resistance...by letting Life flow...by letting Love in...by letting Beauty dance with you...by letting this moment be all there is...by letting Wonder fill you up...by letting Mystery be your guide...by letting the Magical back in...by letting Joy run your life...by letting "Thank You" be your prayer...by remembering who you are."
Wherever you are in the world reading these words, whatever your circumstances, I wish to convey to you with the most humbled, gentle, tenderness that I possibly can - that my Love and your Love are One and the same, and that in that place of Unified Love, there really are no words...so instead of saying Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays, or Season's Greetings, I will simply vibrate a silent, heartfelt "Thank You" for the Love that we all share and are.
© Copyright 2011 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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Posted on December-14-11 3:06 PM
I was reflecting this morning on a conversation I had with my 13 year old daughter, who was telling me about an art project she was working on at school. It was a self-portrait, and she was describing how she chose not to do an actual self-portrait, but something more abstract that expressed who she is on the inside, and how she had observed that everyone else, except one other girl, had done actual self-portraits focussing on their physical features.
We ended up having a wonderful discussion about contrast, choice, and the difference between living and expressing from the inside, and living and expressing from the surface.
It had me wondering about the deep, silent, still waters within, and how diving down into the depths of our Being is the most authentic place from which to create a self-portrait if we had to come up with some sort of "definition" in material form of who we felt ourselves to be. In truth, there is no "self" so to speak, for at the centre of our Being, all we really are is Existence, Consciousness, One.
Isn't this the core of artistic expression?
And isn't artistic expression simply a reflection of our individualized dance with the Divine?
Our beautiful conversation, (which made us late for school!) was a teaching moment for both of us, for my daughter reminded me of how natural and automatic it is for her to create from this place, and how she noticed how rare it was for others to do so. I also shared with her my own collaged self-portrait that I had made one day many years ago while sitting with the Divine. At the time I did not know I was creating a self-portrait. That intuitive realization did not come to me until much later. (see pic below)
It's so easy to get caught up in the world of form and matter, but it is our identification with it that is the source of much of our angst and suffering.
We tend to forget that Life itself is art.
We tend to forget that our Existence in a human form is the expression of Divinity, whether or not we choose to acknowledge such.
We tend to forget that we have the power to create our lives to be a living, breathing, masterpiece of beauty, love, and celebration regardless of circumstance, because it's not the circumstances that cause us to suffer, it is our responses to them.
We tend to forget that ALL of LIFE is God, so why resist any of it?
Living and expressing from the surface has been so deeply ingrained and programmed into our psyches, that anything that reflects the tiniest move away from the so called "standard" and "rules" of conformity or social conditioning makes us feel deficient or impoverished in some way or another.
If you were to view my life based on the 3D mindset, you might see me as a divorced, single mother who declared bankruptcy seven years ago, you might see me as someone without a "real" job or someone unsuccessful, or someone who does not own a home, or drive a fancy car, or have any extra material or monetary means to lavish on myself or anyone else. You might label me as poor and hard done by.
And yet, if you did view my life or those circumstances in that way, it would be a great misperception - but what all of that has taught me - quite brutally and severely at times, because that's what I signed up for - is that none of those circumstances decide my worth. If my life were to end in this moment, I would leave proud.
Why?
Because I've learned that there is absolutely nothing or no one who can take away who I've come to know myself to be. Not ever. That doesn't make me special or important or saintly. It simply makes me real.
Because I've been learning how to mine the gold from the dark, cavernous, depths of my Being and to share what I've learned with others.
And what is the gold?
It's Love.
And so...my still, small voice, says to you from this tiny, little blog of divine expression,
"You are all so warmly united in the one common thread that holds Existence together. You are united in Love. Not a single heart beats without Love causing it to do so, and you are here, in this physical world to eventually realize this and to experience yourself, and each other from "beneath the surface." Everything you need to have this experience is provided to you by your precious everyday and most seemingly ordinary day to day life. Do not think that there is anything better or more valuable out there for you to experience. What is here and now right before you - all people and circumstances - are here for you. It does not serve you in any way whatsoever to resist what Existence has laid out for you, for it has been laid out for you in an attempt to soften, open, and have you yield to, and fully embrace, the Love that you are. The beauty, intimacy, and aliveness you so long to experience awaits you in those very moments that would have you run and hide, instead of standing still with arms wide open, ready for anything."
© Copyright 2011 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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Posted on December-06-11 1:25 PM
I had a dream last night that I was walking up a hill, bare-breasted, along the side of a heavily trafficked road.
I felt defiant and free, and did not have a care in the world for the drivers in all the cars that were speeding by. No one stopped or honked or slowed down, and in my dream I could feel the crazed, manic, pulse of the 3D world, and I was elated that I was walking out of it.
As I was reaching the top of the hill, I saw a little pathway to my left that headed into a wooded area. When I stepped onto the path, before I could even take another step, a huge owl appeared as though he was guarding my entrance, yet his eyes spoke of pure gentleness and great humility. I did not venture in any further out of respect for this creature, which I could feel was an elder.
Instead I simply looked beyond him further into the forest, and there, resting in a large, ancient pine tree, I could see, what appeared to be his family, perched all over the various branches. Little young owlets with their mothers, and other adult owls sitting quite still and silently watching me.
I felt flooded with love for these gentle beings, and as soon as that wave washed over me, the elder owl stepped aside and granted me entrance into his kingdom.
As I walked along the path, I came across a rustic, outdoor hut with no walls to speak of. More like an exotic beach hut with just a grass roof. Inside was a man and a woman of Native American Indian ancestry, and she was also bare-breasted. I was invited in.
There was a large table, and sitting around it were several "white" children who were being taught various games relating to unity and wholeness. One, in particular, involved some of the children using their hands and fingers in such a way that they would interlock them into a beautiful, connecting pattern which formed a kind of unique sculpture. All the children were so engaged in what they were doing with these simple, natural games. I felt such peace and joy there, like I was home.
Next thing I know, I am back out walking down the side of the busy road. Now I have a coat on, and many of the speeding cars are slowing down and honking at me as though I'm an annoying intrusion that they must be watchful of and careful not to hit.
I am so pissed off that I am going back. And then I wake up.
And the still, small, voice said,
"The freedom you long for is already yours, and your dream is symbolic of this, for it is showing you that when your mind is peaceful, gentle and humbled, and when you walk that peaceful road within - regardless of whatever else is going on around you - then you are home. To remain in such a vibration takes some practice, and the children in your dream are representative of the playful, focussed, discipline it takes to harmonize to such a unified vibration. They are students - as are you - and they are lovingly and patiently being taught. Notice that these children did not need to feel defiant to be free, for to defy is an energy of resistance. In your dream, you found a peaceful forest which is symbolizing the mind. You were bare-breasted, representing unconditional love and nurturing, which is your most natural state when freedom is experienced. You were with many guardians and teachers who were showing you the way - out of their love for you, and due to your deepest calling and desire to be free. Walking up the road bare-breasted, and down the road clothed, is simply symbolic of the dualistic 3D mindset which you are breaking free of in order to transcend and to become the unaffected observer, rather than the angry defier, of the "manic 3D pulse." Have the wisdom and patience of your owl friends, who are bringing you the greatest gift of transformation into the unknown, and the gift of seeing so very clearly when all appears dark."
© Copyright 2011 - Heather Fraser - All Rights Reserved |
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